Sipping my coffee, I decided to get a few things off my chest. It all started when I got new tools to dig through information as a part of my job, it sure made me feel important at the moment, soon the euphoria of my new toy diminished into humility seeing tremendous amounts to dig through. But what distressed me the most was the lack of pure content that isn't not from a news agency, no one is ready to assume the responsibility of what they write or share (I'm no angel, neither would I as far as I know).
Until today I stayed away from politics despite living in the middle of it, raised by it, and live it through the media in my almost every waking moment.Honestly, I just wanted to become an artist, a spiritual nomad if you will, but I am much too curious to stay away from human nature for too long, and too much of an introvert to delve into the sea of people.
I try to blame my age for my contradicting feelings and desires, I try to blame my upbringing, I try to blame the world around me, and of course I blame myself for not being "good enough".
While the opposite is yet to be brought to my attention,what amazes\amuses me is how we have a different perception of "self-confidence"as a concept. Egoism?Self-awareness?Being self-centered? Pride?
Back in the day only people of great achievements, and rulers were celebrated. The society perhaps was more group-oriented rather than focusing on oneself, which is why in the Arab culture many self-praising poets are fondly remembered, if they were not warriors or peacemakers, they were at least great talkers.
Now this self confidence can come from self-righteousness, and on that term alone many an elaboration can be made, and most likely to breed those people who go against the system (both in the negative and positive perspective). Activists, anarchist, cyber terrorists, you name it...
At some point, everybody seems right, and everybody seems wrong, the wonderful contradictions of the human nature... is the violent fervent action a desperate attempt to not become one of the crowds, but doesn't that place you into a different type? maybe you're okay as long as you're not the norm (at least not the norm in your opinion). I am not mocking anybody's battle, believe me, everyone is entitled to his cry.
I ask, do I want to be one of them? want to be me? what are we seeking by all this? so much information, so much influence that you don't know who to listen to, or who to follow or what to follow.
Maybe we're trivializing important matters and blowing unnecessary things out of proportion? a fine example would be Aldous Huxley and George Orwell's comparison
and
For the full printable elaborate cartoon's pdf click
here
Big players, conspiracy, big brother, Illuminati...etc. Those are much larger concepts than my brain can actually compute, yet I can skillfully pretend to know what any of it is, maybe I do know but would rather lock it up in my brain and wonder myself about it to sleep.
Between the "me" and what I want, and the "Us" that I want to belong to, and the "Them" who control it, what is it that really matters? Should I remain passive, and amuse myself with the delusion that I'm actually thinking?
Where is the human nature in all this?
What is religion now?
Who rules?
Does it matter?
This essay has been written off my head without a second read, so any contradictions that appear are only because I was thinking as I type.
now my last drop of coffee has been sipped, back to reality...wonder what's for lunch?..
